Integrating your worlds in a partner

I found this quote online...

I find that the best relationships are the ones where both the vanilla side and bdsm side are integrated. Basically the best of both worlds. Someone you respect, care for, love and can be open with and share your secret bdsm life with. I believe that's the best way for a happy fulfilled life. In fact, the best examples I've seen of great long term relationships have been those friends I've known in loving female-led marriages or relationships. They share a close bond, love, happiness and openness.

I recently read something from a male sub online that is an example of this. He wrote:

"I think age, emotional maturity and self acceptance takes time to develop. I know when I was younger I kept the two worlds completely apart.(bdsm and romantic/vanilla). I was ashamed of my submissive side. I was vanilla in relationships but when I would get single I would visit pro dommes. Eventually going to a professional lost its appeal because its not the activity that I crave, it's the power exchange which occurs between two people who matter to each other. As time went by I began to accept my sexuality for what it is and my two sexual worlds integrated. I became more whole. After that when I would start a relationship I would be open and honest with the women I dated and almost all were willing to play. The real challenge was find a woman who was naturally dominant who wasn't just trying to please me. (someone not faking it and pretending to be domme because I said that's what I want.)"

"Now that I have finally found my Goddess I feel complete and fulfilled. When she humiliates me or causes me pain, I take for her. When I am allowed to to pleasure my Goddess I can show my absolute adoration of her through my actions. I have surrendered to her and our relationship. This has brought me a freedom and power that I have never known. It is an intimacy that I have never experienced. We also comfort, love and respect each other. These are not mutually exclusive and as a matter of fact I need to be connected on a deep emotional level for my submission to mean anything. I am now lucky enough to worship the woman I love and she both owns and loves me." -a male submissive.