The Gift of the Domme

Here's an essay I read online by a male sub that I enjoyed.

"The Gift of the Domme
by closetsitter1

In recent mentoring to a few male subs I have come across something which I think many subs fail to recognize. Not by any failure of heart, but simply failure to recognize the true gift a Domme bestows on her submissive. That gift is allowing the submissive the nobility that comes with service.

For myself, I am not a religious man. But like most humans I have the need to believe in something bigger, more noble than myself.
There is a major difference in suffering pain, humiliation, servitude, etc for the “kink” and in doing it in loving sacrifice to your Goddess.

The typical vanilla woman, although she constantly talks about wanting to be adored and worshipped, will very rapidly grow tired of this treatment. It is one of the main reasons a relationship between a vanilla and a lifestyler will fail.

The Domme will graciously and eagerly accept true worship. While the submissive is certainly giving a great gift to a Domme in committed service, the Domme is in reality giving an even greater gift to the submissive by allowing him to have something in his life which is greater than himself.

Just as the penitent Christian makes sacrifices to his God and therefore feels he has achieved some greater good in his life, and hopefully some future reward, the submissive, by serving his very mortal Goddess, has achieved this same euphoric state. But unlike a religious calling, the reward of feeling that “nobility of purpose” is real and quite tangible in the here and now. His pain, his suffering, his humiliation, his chastity, whatever he is giving of himself for the pleasure of his Domme, is giving deep emotional and spiritual meaning to his life.

Of course you may say in the lifestyle that the submissive should be grateful to the Domme for having him. That is simply a given. But in reality, for the dedicated submissive it goes much deeper than a mere lifestyle definition.

All humans have asked those questions……Why am I here?.....Why was I born?.....What purpose does my existence have?......Is my existence merely blind random chance?.....Does my existence have any meaning at all?

For most, the answers lie in religion or some deep philosophical studies taken over years of intense thought and hard work, if they ever gain an answer at all.

For the serious submissive, the answers to those questions are simple, direct, visible, and felt every day. Every time he makes his Domme smile, he KNOWS why he is here. He KNOWS his life serves a noble purpose. He KNOWS that regardless of any philosophical or religious debate over the meaning or reasons for existence, he has his answer in the here and now!

THIS is the ultimate gift of the Domme to her submissive.

To give the submissive an actual physical Goddess who rewards and punishes and guides the submissive in an ever deeper and more rewarding life in devotion and sacrificial service to her.

And the Domme has her answers to those same questions by knowing that in her use of her submissive she has given meaning to what might otherwise be a meaningless life. Therefore she is serving the greater good by allowing herself to truly be worshipped.

Few women hear such a noble calling. Few women can accept true worship. Few women can even accept the service and submission of the men in their lives even though they claim that is exactly what they want. Few women have the intellectual capacity to realize the true strength of character it takes for a man to submit in devoted service.

It takes a very special woman to be a Domme. Just picking up a whip and donning a pair of heels doesn’t mean squat!

The true Domme gives a great gift to a submissive when she accepts him as her own. She gives his life meaning, purpose, and nobility."

------end of his essay----------
My comment on it:
It is true that it does take strength for a male to truly submit totally in devoted service to his Goddess/Mistress. And that there is a major difference in suffering pain, humiliation, servitude, etc for the “kink” and in doing it in loving sacrifice to your Goddess in a long term relationship. Unfortunately there are too many male "subs" who are into it for their kinks and totally miss the deep connection and wonderful relationship that could be had if they were truly looking to unselfishly please a special dominant Woman and belong to Her long term. And I do think it does take a very special woman to be such a Domme. It takes a woman who is confident, has her life together and is in control of herself, self aware, creative, intelligent and who wants to accept the responsibility that comes with truly owning, disciplining and caring for her devoted sub/slave. -Mistress Lisa